Living Earth, a Dead Space Parody
by elitetaco31
Summary: Join our hero (Issac Clarke) his fangirl (Ellie) and Stross, their wacky sidekick as they go on a parody adventure!
1. 1

Living Earth

Chapter 1: Issac Strongly Dislikes Potato chips

"Oh my god Issac, HURRY UP!" Dania commands Issac through the weird skype thingy that I forgot the name of. Meanwhile, our bread crumb Issac is looking through the oddly cylinder shaped store.

"HEY! HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY! Don't you yell at me...OH, A MEDKIT SALE!" Issac squeals like a five year old girl who just saw a unicorn or something.

"Why am I even helping you?" Dania wonders out loud, offending Issac, who frowned.

"Because I'm Issac F*BLEEP*ING CLARKE!" Issac shouted so loud, that everyone near Dania was blown away and fell through space, which in fact, leaves you breathless.

NOTE: YES, THAT WAS A TOBUSCUS REFERENCE!

Suddenly, Issac saw his girlfriend staring at him, and her eyes were all glowing, and her mouth was glowing. LE GASP!

"ISSAC, MAKE US WHOLE!" She nagged him.

"STFU!" Issac yelled punching her into the fan from the first Zero-G part in Dead Space 2. "HAH, B*Bleeps*ches don't know S*Bleep*T about Issac Clarke!" He danced around like a little boy.

"What the flying f*bleep*k are you doing?" Dania asked, recovering from Issac's FUS RO DAH.

"I am quite clearly dancing, old chap." Issac said with his monocle and tea, from which he gloriously sipped.

"ISSAC, STOP THE MARKER!" Ellie yelled.

"Issac, make us whole!" Dania yelled.

"HEY, GTFO, ISSAC'S MINE!" Ellie yelled, slapping Dania in the ugly leather bag...OH WAIT, I MEAN HER FACE! Sorry, autocorrect gave its opinion. ANYWAYS...Dania pulled out a knife. Ellie was like "NO" and shot Dania in the face with the Javelin gun, and Dania was DEAD bleeding out orange juice. Meanwhile, right behind Ellie, Issac was eating TITAN POTATO CHIPS.

"Awww, these SUCK!" Issac complained, throwing the bag at Stross, who was a grumpy cat.

"NO!" Stross replied. Ellie was hugging Issac cuz she's a CRAZY F*Bleep*ING FANGIRL, and Issac shrugged at Stross, who shrugged at Issac, who was being hugged by Ellie cuz-wait I'm going in a circle. Anyways, that's the end of LIVING EARTH, CHAPTER 1. Next time, Issac, his fangirl and Stross continue their adventures of bagel-tastic-ness.

COMING UP: Chapter 2: I herd u lik Issac?


	2. 2

Living Earth

Chapter 2: I herd u like Issac so I gave you Issac so u could like Issac while liking Issac

"ISSAAAAAAAAAAAC...ISSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAC!" Ellie yelled, still hugging Issac from the last chapter.

"WHAT?" Issac finally yelled.

"It's chapter TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ellie yelled, dancing.

"Rest in Peace, fourth wall..." Stross sniffed.

"WAT?" Issac looked at him like 'Dafuq this guy talkin' bout?'

"Nevermind..." Stross was unamused by his friend's non-smartness.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AH!" Issac yelled, sending Stross flying into a crate full of crates. CRATECEPTION? Indeed.

"WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?!" Ellie paniced.

"THERE'S A MOTHERF*BLEEP*ING SPIDER ON THE WALL!" Issac yelled, running from the newcomer arachnid which was dressed in a monocle.

"It's nothing." Stross reassured them.

"Stross, stross stross...I want you to imagine your ASS getting handed to you...Okay? Imagine, banners and streamers hanging from the ceiling, every member of C.E.C gathered row-by-row in their finest robes just to witness you getting your hairy ASS handed to you..." Issac explained.

"Uh..." Stross scratched his imaginary beard of imagination.

"DO YOU SEE IT?!" Issac shook him.

"OMFG, ITS CHASING ME!" Ellie yelled at the spider, hugging Issac. "HELP ME ISSAC!"

"Fine..." Issac shot it with a fusion cutter.

"YAY, ISSAC IS A HERO!" Ellie cheered.

"Uh...What the flying f*Bleep*?!" Stross asked. "Is she crazier than me?"

"I think so...I think so..." Issac nodded his head.

ELSEWHERE, LATER, AND MEANWHILE, The Gang finds Issac's long lost muffin.

"MUFFIN, I LOOOVE YOOOUUUUUU!" Issac ate the gloriously glorious muffin of gloryness!

"Ermergerd...I'm surrounded by IDIOTS!" Stross facepalm'd and yelled.

WELL, THAT'S ALL FOR NOW!

NEXT CHAPTER 3: Issac is unamused, Stross is weird, and Ellie's a fangirl. Also, Cake.


	3. 3

Chapter 3: Issac is unamused, Stross is weird, and Ellie's a fangirl. Also, cake.

We rejoin our cheesecake team of Issac, his fangirl, and the wacky sidekick in Space, on the Sprawl, In a City, in an apartment complex, in a room. OH YEAH, I BLEW YO' MIND. "What if milk is Cow Seemen?" Stross asked, causing Issac to spit his cereal out.

"JEEZE LOUIZE, WHAT THE F*Censored*?!" Isaac yelled at his companion.

"Well SORRY FOR PARTY ROCKING, BUT PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY THAT MY MUSIC IS TOO LOUD!" Stross apologized like a G6!

Suddenly, Issac got on his legendary MATT DAMON shirt and punched Stross RIGHT IN THE SQUAJILIES!

"OOOOH, RIGHT IN THE SQUAJILIES!" Stross groaned as he peepeed in his big-boy panties and fell on the "CLEAN" apartment floor. By the way, last night, our Space Peeps got drunk, and when Stross went to bed in HIS room, some stuff went down. KIDS, DONT ASK! Issac then did his celebratory dance like this:  watch?v=f3fTUZRbRDY except it was Issac not DA Heevah weaponsh goy. ANYDOCTORWHO...Issac then started a rave, an invited his friends like Shepard, Master Chief and SOOPA MAWIO. After the sexy-lecious rave and lots of SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS, the gang went to sleep in their beds, (except for Issac, who fell asleep on the ceiling with the Zero-G jetpack legs of zero-g-swagger. Or should I say $W GG3R?)

Teh Next Day...

"HOLY SHET ISSAC WE'RE OUT OF MILK!" Our grumpy cat Stross yells.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO!" Issac shot his window and they got sucked into space, which previously stated, will in fact leave you breathless.

UNLESS JOO RIDE THE ROLLARCOASTA!

Unfortenatly for Issac, and lucky us, he respawned at the last checkpoint.

"Fine, I'll go get some..." Issac got into his car, parked on the roof and 360 noscoped a guy while falling in his PlaneMoCar. However, he saw something, A CAKE. So he wanted to grab it, but glass surrounded it. It was IMPENETRABLE!

Suddenly, Issac heard GlaDos.

"Oh look, it's cake. OHH, and my favorite flavor: LIES." She taunted.

(Dead Island Trailer Music plays, THE SAD ONE)

Issac looks down and cried, knowing the cake quest had been failed.

(Music ends)

"Eh, oh well..." Issac shrugged and went on a BRODYQUEST/ISSACQUEST through the Sprawl, all the while being chased by his fangirl.

Next: Chapter 4: Revenge of the Potato Chips!


End file.
